Back to basics

When I play golf and it all starts going wrong (like it always does) I try to go back to basics just using my short clubs and playing it simply. Similarly when playing football and having a bad game I stop trying to do any clever stuff and resort to simple passes and basic defending.

Following a couple of disappointing efforts on the culinary front I decided to follow the same principle and go back to basics. So it was breaded Hake from the local Co-op which I sprinkled with Lemon and Black Pepper flavouring and baked in the oven with boiled potatoes and broccoli.

Not very exciting but very easy and low chance of getting it wrong.

Stupid recipe

The Consort has loads of recipe books including some which are hand-written. I found one that had all the ingredients I like - chicken, bacon, lemon, tomatoes and spices. The hand-written instructions all seemed very simple so I was comfortable to give it a go. First problem was that after frying the chicken for 4-5 minutes I was meant to "Tip the chicken and any juices from the pan into a roasting tray" but I had no juices. No problem - I poured in some white wine that was in the fridge. The next instructions were beyond me - "put the frying pan back on the heat and add rosemary  - move round so they get covered in juices". What is meant to get covered in juice ? I've already put the chicken into a roasting tray and poured the non-existent juices into the tray !
At that point I just started improvising and completely ignoring the recipe with the result that I missed the crucial step of putting the bacon over the chicken before putting under the grill. Fortunately The Consort arrived home and recovered the situation and it all tasted pretty good.

Oh Dear !

It seemed like a good idea at the time - a simple recipe from the Internet to cook Pork Chops in Ginger Beer. So off I went to the local Co-op to buy the chops and an onion. Trouble is the recipe was too simple so when it said to "Brown the chop in a frying pan" I thought it meant to cook the chop so left it in for 15m until cooked through. Only found out later it meant to leave it in for a few seconds to just brown the surface :-(.
Then I improvised with a few extra ingredients including the obligatory leeks and left it all to cook for about 40 mins.

The recipe said to then remove all the ingredients and add cornflour to the remaining juice to make it into a sauce. How much cornflour and how does it magically turn into a sauce ? Fortunately The Consort was home by now and advised on what to do next and very helpfully pointed out what "Brown the chop in a frying pan" actually means,

Served it up and the taste was really impressive unlike the potatoes, carrots and leeks which were a bit on the hard side and the chop which was rather tough. So The Consort took the potatoes away to microwave to soften them up and we chewed and crunched our way through the meal. Hey ho - next time !

Don't forget the veg

"If you want a quick and easy recipe for tonight then let me know" said The Consort as she recognised that all this creativity is taking its toll on me. "Just take some frozen fish, cover with tin of tomatoes, sprinkle on some mixed herbs and bake for about 30m. Add cheese and breadcrumbs just before serving then bake for another 5m and that's it !" Never one to shirk an easy way out I decided that would be the meal for the evening and all went according to plan. Meal was assembled and into oven and I retired to watch the final few minutes of "Pointless" followed by "Eggheads" on BBC2.

The Consort arrived home just as the Cheese and Breadcrumbs were being applied and asked what we were having with it. In my euphoria of having an easy night of cooking I hadn't even considered any vegetables etc so last minute panic to quickly do some leeks and toast some Pitta bread.

Second time lucky

Better planning this time and put the frozen pastry out to defrost early morning. Then got on my bike and went to Tesco to buy chicken breast  for my Chicken and Leek pie and cooking apples for Apple Pie.
I need total concentration at the moment so decided to have everything completed before The Consort arrived home from work so started at 4pm. It all went pretty well apart from the sauce not thickening very well but my timing is not good and it was all ready to serve up far too early. So had to keep everything hot until she arrived home at 5:30pm.

I've had a complaint from one of our Colonies that my presentation needs to be improved but I haven't taken this criticism to heart. However, I have decided to take moderate revenge by publishing an incriminating picture of an act of vandalism that would otherwise have remained unpublished !

The best laid plans

My plan was to use the 2 bits of chicken that The Consort told me was in the freezer so I looked up a recipe that used chicken and leeks and found just what I wanted. Went to the local shop to buy some pastry and a couple of additional bits of chicken but although they had frozen pastry, no chicken. No problem, I'll half what the recipe says and made a start. First problem was that the pastry was solid and I had no idea if it can be microwave defrosted. Second problem was that I assumed that the chicken was going to be breast pieces but turned out to be pre-prepared BBQ chicken and no good for the pie I wanted to make. So I abandoned the original plan, baked the BBQ chicken in the oven with leeks and potatoes and added a bit of salad. The Chicken and Leek pie would have to wait until next time.

Which vegetable needs a plumber?

     
The trouble with a lot of recipes is that they assume knowledge - that I haven't got. I wanted to cook some leeks so looked up a recipe (click here - I chose "Roasted"). It just says "add leeks". To most people it's probably obvious but not to me...

Do I wash them ?
Do I peel a layer off ?
Do I slice them and if so, length-ways or across ?
How much 'leaf' do I cut off the top ?
Do I cut any off the bottom ?

I chose Yes, Yes, Yes(across), probably to much and Yes.

Anyway, the leeks were pretty good and showed that I'd made an effort given that the rest of the meal was some salad I found in the fridge and pasta bake using sauce from a bottle.

The really good news is the The Consort took pity on me and cooked this evening - relief all round.

Where's the salt !

It seems to me that the hardest part of cooking is knowing where things are, or even if they exist ! The recipe yesterday called for a pinch of salt but I couldn't find the salt anywhere so eventually settled for a twist of Himalayan Rock Salt. Then I needed some almonds so I looked in all 4 possible places but couldn't see them. So here's the problem:
a/ do we actually have any almonds
b/ if we do, have a missed seeing them in the 4 possible places
c/ is there place number 5 that I haven't thought of
So eventually I gave up and used pine nuts which seemed to work out OK. When The Consort arrived home she was able to confirm that we didn't have any almonds and if we did they would have been in place 6 !

The meal of Lemon Fish Fingers  (see picture above)seemed to be a success but looked nothing like the picture in the original recipe (click here to see it)

Second course was baked apple that I haven't eaten for years (an advantage of doing the cooking is that you eat the food you really like - no more butternut squash :-). The recipe said that the apple needed to be cored but the only corer I have slices the apples too but that actually seemed to work out quite well.

So a first day success, its all downhill from here........

The start of something new

So I've finally left my job and tomorrow is the start of my culinary career. Have decided on my first creation but have already hit the first problem as the recipe calls for an unwaxed lemon. Where can I buy a hairy lemon?